Ok. I should start doing this. "Funniest thing of the day."

for today, I give you this, from this article:

On Clay Aiken on American Idol last night:

"Lowlight: Is that how Clay Aiken dresses now that he’s a big star? He resembled a college freshman coming back to impress the high school girls at homecoming. And do they not have hair stylists in North Carolina? He looked like a giant Swiffer."

I truly laughed so hard when I read that last line.

Yesterday's "funniest thing of the day" would be, hands down, the fact that one of my coworkers (shes crazy, for real) LEFT HER CAR RUNNING WHEN SHE PARKED AND WENT INTO WORK. Oh yes. I pull up beside her car and hear something when I get out, and when I look in her window, the keys are DEFINATELY still in the ignition, and the car is definately running.

(At least she got the thing into Park before she forgot what she was doing.)

It was awesome.

Let me just say...that I have had it up to HERE with automated phone systems for any type of company.

And I've also had it up to HERE with Doctor's writing the WRONG prescription for me.

A Quiz For Your Arminian Friends by Jay Banks
Eph. 1:11 ...[W]ho [God] worketh all things after the counsel of His will.

Q. If God works all things after the counsel of His will, how much
does He work to the will of you, me, Satan, etc.?

A. None.

B. 20%

C. 50%

D. 85%



Is. 14:24 Jehovah of hosts hath sworn, saying , Surely, as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand.

Q. How much of what He wants to come to pass, doesn’t?

A. All of His thoughts will come to pass

B. Some of His thoughts will not come to pass

C. A few of His thoughts will not come to pass

D. A lot of His thoughts will not come to pass



Rom. 8:29 For whom He foreknew, He also foreordained to be conformed to to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many bretheren: and whom He foreordained, them He also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom He justified, them He also glorified.

Q. How many do you think have been called, justified, or glorified that He did not first foreknow or foreordain?

A. Write in your answer: ___________________



John 10:14 I am the good shepherd; and I know my own, and mine own know me, even as the Father knoweth me, and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.

Q. Where does this scripture say that Jesus laid down his life for the sheep and the goats

A. It doesn’t

B. It doesn’t, but I just know He meant the goats, too



John 6:65 No man can come unto me, except it be given unto him of the Father.

Q. How many come to Jesus that were not first given to him by the Father?

A. 0

B. 5,000

C. 5,000,000

D. 10,000,000



John 6:37 All that the Father giveth me shall come unto me

Q. How many that the Father gave Him will not come to Him?

A. Two

B. A couple of thousand

C. A couple of million

D. Trick question, it says they will all come unto him



John 10:28 I [Jesus] give unto them the (true followers, or ‘sheep’) eternal life; and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who hath given them unto me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.

Q. How many sheep do you think have been snatched from either God’s or Jesus’ hands?

A. None

B. 50,000

C. 500,000

D. 1,000,000



Rev. 13:8 And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. Rev. 20:15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

Q. Considering this, and other related scripture, God having to blot out a name from the book of life would mean:

A. God makes mistakes.

B. Some have been snatched from Jesus’ hands?

C. God didn’t know that some of His sheep were really goats.

D. None of the above.

Q. Could a person whose name was written in the book of life from the foundation of the world not have become a Christian (or have saving faith in God if born before Jesus)?

A. No

B. Yes

C. This confuses me, but I’m going to believe the Bible.

D. This confuses me, and I’m going to pretend this isn’t in the Bible (be honest).



Matt. 13 10 And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables? 11 He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.

Q. Jesus himself declared that one of the reasons why He spoke in parables was that the truth might be concealed from whom it was not intended. Is this fair?

A. No.

B. Yes.

C. Who are we to question God?

D. I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that verse.



Rom. 8:28 To them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to His purpose.

Q. How many things do not work for the good of those who love God?

A. 10% of all things

B. 40% of all things

C. 85% of all things

D. Trick question, the Bible says all things work for the good of those who love Him



Mark 14:30 And Jesus said unto him (Peter), Verily I say unto thee, that thou, today, even this night before the cock crow twice shall deny me thrice.

Questions:

A. Could Peter not have denied Jesus three times before the cock crowed twice?

Answer here: ____________________________

B. Did Jesus providentially ordain Peter to deny him, or did Peter do it of his own free will?

Answer here: ____________________________



Exodus 4:11 [God Himself asks the rhetorical question] Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or dumb? Who gives him his sight or makes him blind? Is it not I the Lord?

Q. Is this fair?

A. Yes.

B. No.

C. Who are we to question God?

D. I’m going to pretend this isn’t in the Bible.

I just read an article on msn that said if the amount of minimum wage had kept up with inflation, it should currently be 9 dollars and some change.

Yeah. I agree. I can't imagine someone living off the current min. wage. Its sickening.

Credit: Girl Talk (the link to the right) From May 19th...hehe...its good.

"After the long months of cold and winter, we will soon be coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
1) The woman buys the food.

2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill.

Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring him something to drink while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing women..."

Andrew picked up our wedding rings today. *beams* He told me my ring looks nice. I'm excited.

WHY I AM A JACKASS:

I keep getting really confused on dates things are happening involving the wedding. One such confused date is when response cards were supposed to be in. Soooo....I thought they were supposed to be in this past Saturday, two days ago. Since we had only received about 60% of the cards back in, I started panicking a little bit, and so I emailed a large chunk of people who hadn't mailed theirs back yet. The email was very nice and all, and I just let people know we would love to know if they're attending or not.

Last night, my mom brings to my attentition the response cards are not, in fact, due in, until this coming Saturday.

So now....I feel...like an ass.

Thats not something you can really undo, is it? hehe. oh well!

thats all.