hm. so i'm not sure what to write about.

lets see.

the thought that i'm going to be a pastor's wife really boggles my mind. its a huge undertaking. and it scares me sometimes. that i'm not going be as prepared as i should. but then again, you can't really prepare for something, you learn as you go along. i mean...theres good things i can be doing to prepare myself...but really...learning as you go along is the best training, i think.

note to self: a wedding takes a lot of energy and a LOT of money. we may not even have a photographer because we really don't have an extra 1K just laying around. boy, is that the understatement of the century. superb. whatever. hopefully, we can find someone to do it for a lot cheaper, maybe. like someone that does it as a hobby.

sometimes i truly wish we could elope. or do the "almost elope" as i like to call it: have our immediate, immediate family there, say our vows and forget all the big hairy production, and be on with our lives. but i've said it since the beginning, and I will say it now...that if we're going to have a wedding, we're going to do it right. none of this hodgepodge stuff. which is easier said than done. I'm making my own invitations, and we're not hiring a dj. We have to keep cutting people off the guest list. oh well. its just a wedding. our marriage is the important part of this whole deal. God overshadowing every part of it, more specifically. Thats all I really want.

I might be moving as early as late december, to jackson. still don't know where i'll live tho. and i'll have to find a job. which, when you think of it that way (moving in 6-7 months)...we don't have much time to plan this wedding...plus with mom's surgery coming back up in july, she'll be out of comission for a few months...so yeah...its kind of like having 3-4 months to plan a wedding. so please excuse me if i seem like i'm doing 307 things at once. because I AM.

i'd also like to take this time to throw out a general disclaimer to my friends: when you want me to go out and do stuff, don't be offended when i don't. because a) i don't have money to spend on restaurants or entertainment and b) It is too difficult for me to sit there and watch you eat and buy entertainment when i can not. I'm up for hanging out at someones house or a park tho, fo sho. Just understand that going in, and don't be upset when i turn down an offer. Thanks.

I have spent more money in the last 2 weeks than i've had come in. and i've been working my H-I ney off, too. And all the expenses were legitamate...ie: not anything "extra," but actual neccessary bills. awesome. but the Lord provides and He always has and always will.

on another note: i bought a plane ticket to go visit andrew in july. with money i dont' actually have. lovely. but i'm excited about that. getting to see him, that is.

I think i'm kind of cranky. Just sayin'. I am utterly stressed. It is true. Did I mention I'd like to just elope? Thanks. Not even joking.