Sometimes, I realize I don't understand anything.

I don't have everything figured out, near as much as think I'd like to, sometimes. Oh well.

I'm kind of lightheaded tonight. Don't really know why. But mom just told me I was too hot and needed to get a washcloth and put it on my neck. Goodtimes.

On another note, my dad rides a bike.

Why didn't someone inform me of this?



Last night, I told mom I didn't think I was very compassionate. I don't really know why, but I don't think I am (about certain things). I had my window open and we heard an ambulance siren, and she always says, "Pray for that person. That is somebody's loved one." Sometimes, I'm very detached. Not as much with people who are close to me, but I have a hard time feeling other people's pain, especially when I don't know them. Being totally honest now. Maybe this makes me a bad person. Its not that I don't want to feel for people. Stuff really just doesn't affect me all that much, sometimes. But then again, even when stuff is happening to me, very rarely do I get bent out of shape or feel the weight of it very heavily. I dunno. I think maybe its kind of hard for me to fathom what a person might be feeling, unless its happening to me. Or unless I'm seeing it first hand - in person. I think that might be it. I can't imagine or know how to create a scene of pain or heartache unless I'm close enough to touch it.

Sometimes I like that a lot, though. Because I don't get really bogged down with stuff. I don't dwell on it too much, usually. I just kind of continue on. I wouldn't want to be sad or mournful all of the time. There is only so much feeling sad can do. Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule. But generally...

Maybe this is my blessing and my curse.

I think most things are that way - The things that work out the best for us usually also work out the worst for us. I hope that makes sense. Our greatest strengths are often times our greatest weaknesses. Make sense? Probably only in my mind.