hey y'all i just made some ziti - come on over and get some. :)

ah. this past week was ...interesting. Lets see. Andrew was here for a week. mom got her left boob chopped off. Yes, indeed.

It was really emotionally tolling, with mom's surgery and all. I'm so glad the cancer is gone now, though. After she woke up from surgery, bubby and I went back into recovery to see her and look at the scar and all of that, and when we were done, bubby asked me if I was alright cause he said I was as white as a sheet and looked like I was going to pass out amd I was like "No," and then just busted out into tears. I don't even know why. It was just really overwhelming. The whole process was over. She made it through surgery (although I never doubted that she would), and it was really weird seeing a piece of her just gone. Its like seeing someone without a limb for the first time, if you're used to seeing them with it your whole life. That, and I have ZERO tolerance for anything gory or medical, really, so seeing the staples and the drain with the blood in it was enough to send me into the bathroom. Ah. but he pulled through and did the big brother thing and just hugged me and talked while I cried and then regained my composure before going back into the waiting room. hehe.

And on that note, I will say publically that it was wonderful having Andrew here for that very reason. - That he was able to be quite the strength for me. I mean, God is my ultimate strength. But I know God provides help to us through various means, and I know it was wonderful to have Andrew here and next to me the whole time. He is truly a support system to me and that was displayed perfectly this week. Yes...he is a good man. He was there when we had to get up at the crack of dawn (actually, earlier), to take mom into surgery, and was there every moment with myself and my family in the waiting room and throughout the whole process. Ah.

I hate seeing him go. I really do. It gets harder on me every time i have to say goodbye to him. I'm just a basket case every time. hate it. but, he reminded me of something i "already knew" (which he so often does, and it is a wonderful thing)...he said (very tenderly) "Dena, it is not God's will for us to be with eachother right now." It is a mystery to me the combanation and almost paradox of human pain and suffering and grieving over a loss in the context of God's will, which is perfect and the most wonderful, beautiful thing, ever.

hm. Happy resurrection day. I saw Covenant Baptism today, which I had never seen. Very cool.

I like to cook. I want to learn more and more. Some things I am not so great at...but I am learning.