This is what I just posted on my Xanga site.......i decided just to copy and paste it here incase you're interested. Hope you are well and keeping up with school work and work is going fine.....hope you have time to get some studying in. You ready for your bio test, Honey? i'm so glad you get to see caedmon's call this week! i'm excited for you. I got the new VS swimsuit catalog.......there is some good stuff in there......so maybe i will buy one from the catalog..but maybe i will just shop in stores.....i dunno.........i found one in particular i really like........ I don't know if i should get a one piece or not instead. How is acc. stuff going? we haven't really been asking about that too much.......i need to pray more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a bad dream last night and ended up going to sleep with mom becasuse i was so scared.....lol...........i am a little girl........but i know why i dreamt it, looking back.......i stayed up till 2 am writing a paper and it was talking about Dennis's suicide.........and so thats what i dreamt about......gives me chills.......I got to eat lunch with a bunch of the Camput Crusade kids today....that was nice.........I get my hair "color glossed " tomorrow....i am nervous, kinda.........hehe........i'm a hair coloring virgin..............haha........if you have time/want to etc..........fill me in on how you're doing.....what you're up to......any eventuful things going on.......anything at all........any thoughts or anything........ok.........heres my post to xanga:

Dude, I got so sick with a sinus infection. It SUCKED. I missed two out of my three days of school last week. BUT...on the brightside, Andrew flew in this weekend! I picked him up from the airport on Friday at 4:19 (his flight was 15 mins early!) and he got to see my choir concert that night with mi familia (oREYo). It was sweet. We sang some cool love songs so I was plenty inspired.

After that, we hung out with Bubby and Greg and Kendon and Elizabeth at our house. Bubby and Greg were flying out to Cabo San Lucas Mexico (Greg won Sprint's Presidents Club) EARLY in the AM Saturday, so they were flying around our house friday night to get everything ready and were getting ready to go to Greg's mom's to spend the night.....and guess what happened? Bubby lockd his keys in his car.....WITH it running....with ALL of Greg and his stuff in it. HAHAHAHAHA......oh man........it was EVENTFUL, lemme tell you. So...instead of calling a locksmith in the FIRST place and paying the 30 bucks, Bubby spends 45 minutes scratching the crap out of his car with COATHANGERS, trying to break in to his own car... *rolls eyes*... my family is retarded. so...he did about 250 $ damage with that...NO kidding...instead of calling the locksmith, (which he ended up having to do) to begin with.

Saturday, Andrew met with the youth leader from Indian Creek church about a possible summer internship there. Cool cool...I guess he'll know something in about 3 weeks or so. Everyone pray for God's will on that please, thanks. Um...we hung out at Mardells and he took me out to dinner at Old Chicago's and to see "How to lose a something" hehe..... it was actually "how to lose a guy in 10 days"... At the end of the movie andrew informed me that it should work.....lol...it was stinkin cold out sat night! then we went home and watched "Father of the bride" stinkin hilarious.

Sunday am we went to Indian Creek's church service.......hung out at my house........fell asleep on my couch......lol.....that was funny......at one point i woke up and it wasn't just me and andrew asleep anymore......my mom, dad, aunt linda and marge were all on various chairs or the floor napping along with us by the fireplace....hehe....So.......TOm and marie and aunt linda and uncle frank and marge all came over to have salisbury steak........and then i had to drive andrew to the airport........actually.....he drove himself..hehe.....because it was snowing like a mug. so.......we took the van......haha....and he drove on the way there........and his plane was on time DANG IT......hehe jk........kinda........um.....but come to find out......he eneded up sitting ON the plane for 2 hours on the runway....DUMB.

I seriously hate walking away from him like that. Its like a piece of me dies. I HATE it. Does anyone have any idea what i'm talking about? Please?...So...I didn't actually cry.....because i hate crying......it sucks........well.........crying doesn't suck.....its a good thing, and i respect it and think its nice when i see people crying to know that they're moved or touched by something......but i meant......i HATE doing it....because i feel totally out of control.....and i can't stand that feeling of being consumed in every fiber of my being with sadness.....and if i start crying.....i tend to get really loud and feel like i'm making an idiot outof myself.......and if i don't, then i just get that lump in my throat that makes it really hard to swallow.....and so if i'm about to cry, or in the middle of crying and trying to stop.....and someone is talking to me......i can't reply to them........because if i open my mouth and start talking........its just gonna be flood city.....eh.......yeah....it just makes me feel weak.......and weakness is NOT a bad thing......but its out of MY comfort zone.....and i don't want to create a scene.....and i want to be in control of my emotions....and once i start crying, its just a mess and a half trying to stop. Yeah.....so.......I almost cried....but i just stopped talking so that i wouldn't.......and when i gave him his last hug in the security check line, i made myself turn around and not look back as I walked......and it really sucked....because i wanted to turn around and look at him......but i was already having a hard enough time as it was and was fighting the tears in my eyes to NOT spill over.....and i knew if i turned around that I would have no hope of not crying........

Yeah........i feel so girly......but i am a girl........and i guess its not really a bad thing......Its just something that touches me and moves me deeply....because I want to be with him.........you know? It really IS as if a part of me dies.......I don't even understand it.....its unfathomable to me....but its a real as anything else i've experienced.

On a less emotional note, I jazzercised tonite! Shibby! It rocked.........we did some really KILLER ab and leg routines during strength training.....woah.....man.......

Oh.....i have discovered something completley yummy.....mom bought some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream over the weekend b/c its one of Andrew's faves....and so.....today....i mixed some of that with chocolate syrup and cool whip....oh MAN it is delicious.....you just mix it all around and the cool whip makes it all fluffy.......yummmmmm i def. recommend it........

snow snow and more snow......there is snow on the ground (luckily mostly off the streets) and we are due to get some in the next day or two, again. fun.